Island Adventure and the Hut of Secrets

Impy at 1:14pm

Impy: *pop* What the-*looks around*- OH!
Dean: *winks* How ya been stranger?
Impy: Fine, yourself?
Dean: Better now that-
Zed: *pop* Oh hell yes.
Xander: *wanders out from the trees* ...I wander away for a second and the masters show up.

Impy: *still eying Dean* Hey, Zed.
Zed: *smiling playfully at the men* Yeah?
Impy: Is Spencer Reid here?
Zed: He's around here somewhere.
Impy: *looks at Dean* Sorry, I must corrupt him....more then he's already been corrupted.
*wanders off to find Reid*
Sam: *to Dean* Dude, you just got ditched for a nerd.
Dean: Shut up....
Zed: Alright, now I know I haven't been here in a while so you all should just form a line in front of my hut. *evil grin*


Zed: 1:29

Zed: Looks around at the surrounding hotness* It's good to be back!
Tessy: We've missed you my queen.
Zed: Yeah, that's still not enough to get you laid.
Tessy: Well then... Fuck you. *walks off*
Zed: *giggles* I like PMS'ing geniuses...
Bigfoot: You shouldn't tease him the way you do. May snap.
Zed: DILLIGAF! Sparrow-- NO.
Sparrow: Hmph. *takes a swig of rum and walks off* My dilly-gaff.
Zed: Before I get started I need to bring in a few men who were somehow skipped over when we were creating this place: First Dr. Peter Grodin.
*pop*
Rodney: You can't be here. Peter Grodin is dead.
Zed: Dude, Rodney. *points at self* God, remember?
Rodney: B-b-but... PHYSICS!
Sparrow: Dilly-gaff?
Zed: Thank you, Jack. Now, where was I? Oh yes, up next is Major Kevin Marks.
*pop*
O'Neill: *peering over Zed's shoulder* His first name is Kevin?
Marks: Yes, sir.
Zed: ... You've known him, what? Five years now? How don't you know that?
O'Neill: I didn't think he'd last a week and after that point I knew him too well to ask.
Zed: I can't even... OK Anyway, now onto the fun part! Marks, make this woman go away. *wink*
Marks: *raises one eyebrow* Should I blow you up too?
Zed: No I do the blowing, not you. Now, move.
Marks: *carries Zed off to the Hut*

Impy : 1:49

Impy: *wandering out of the trees looking like a total mess* Where is he?! If I had these magic Godlike powers I could find him.
Men: *back away from frustrated Impy*
Sparrow: Perhaps, my lady darling...misses, if you were to look were you haven't thought yet to look, you would find the thing that is missing that you are looking for that you haven't yet found.
Impy:...Thanks.
Faramir: Mi'lady, I will gladly service you in Master Reid's stead.
Impy: Oh, alright.
Faramir: *carries Impy off to the Hut*

Zed: 1:57

Zed: Why didn't she just take Jack's compass to find what she wanted?
Sparrow: Because I sold it.
Zed: To who and for what?
Sparrow: Tesla and rum.
Zed: Nikola has the compass?
Sparrow: Aye.
Zed: *face!palm* We're gonna die.
Sheppard: Why?
Zed: What does Tessy want more than anything else right now?
Everyone: Sex.
Zed: Exactly.
Shep: *still doesn't get it*
Zed: *rolls eye at his naiveté* he compass will lead him to what he wants- sex- Therefore it will lead him to the nearest body he can get sex from.
Shep: OH my god...
Zed: There we go. We need to find Tessy before he finds Rock. EVERYBODY SADDLE UP!
*Everyone is suddenly on a saddled horse*
Zed: Move out!

Inpy: 2:17

Impy: *walks out of hut* Where did everybody go? *looks upward for no particular reason*
Faramir: *stumbles out of hut* I did not know I could feel pain in that region.
Impy: Sorry, I'm double jointed sooooo...*keeps staring upward at trees* Wait a second....He's in the trees! *runs into forest*

Zed: 2:29

Zed: *riding along the path* Where the hell is she?
Sheppard: Wouldn't she normally be in the hut when her mind isn't here?
Zed: I checked there. And last time I was here I left first so I have no idea where she went.
O'Neill: Did you check the cotton candy clouds?
Zed: Yes I did, I'm not an idiot.
Jayne: What about the pond? Y'know the one you guys made so we could breathe underwater?
Zed: Only a crazy person wouldn't check there.
Jayne: *under his breath* I'm pretty sure only a crazy person would check there...
Lorne: *over radio* Um we found something... interesting... you should probably take a look at.
Zed: *snaps her fingers and appears next to Lorne's team* Huh... He's um... What is he doing?
Lorne: He's trying to take over the Island again, this is how he did it last time. He wanted power not sex.
Ten: Madman...
Zed: Wait, back up, THIS is how he took over last time? ... With a chocolate bunny army?!
Lorne: *nods*
Zed: And you LOST against him.
*Lorne nods again*
Zed: *blank stare*
Lorne: They're tougher than they look....

Impy: 2:39

Impy: Ow...note to self; I'm to clumsy to climb trees.
*sees random ferns moving...out hops a bunny*
Impy: Oh...CCCUUUTTTEEEE.
Bunny: *moves awkwardly towards her*
Impy: Wait...you're not...how are you moving?
Bunny: *starts moving faster, baring tiny chocolate teeth*
Impy: O_O *runs*


Zed: 2:48

Zed: *hears a scream from beach* Well... Crap.
*everyone runs back towards the huts*
Zed: Why am I running? *snaps fingers and appears on the beach*
Impy: HELP ME!
Zed: *turns around to see Impy tied to a tree by the chocolate bunnies who are now chewing on her shoes* THEY'RE SIX INCHES TALL! Just step on them for fuck's sake. *begins walking to where Impy is tied up* *kicks several bunnies out of the way*
Impy: You don't want to do that...
Zed: Sure I don't... *begins cutting at the ropes*
MMRRRROWOWEIERRRRR
Zed: *turns towards the noise* *sees choco!bunny foaming at the mouth and growling at her* What do you think you're gonna do? Gnaw on my toe?
Choco!Bunny: *bares all of its very large teeth*
Zed: ... Frak. *begins running and screaming at the top of her lungs*
Men: *are still trying to get through the jungle on horseback*
Aragorn: Our masters are in danger! *is the first person to realize they can now dismount their horse* *runs towards the beach* FFOOOORRRR FRODOOOO!!!!!
*everyone else runs after him*

Impy: 3:13

Impy: *is still screaming for dear life as the chocolate bunnies start biting her ankles*
Men: *charge onto the beach, each with they're own weapon leaving destroyed chocolate bunnies in they're wake*
Zed: *screaming stumbles onto the beach*
Impy: Men stop! Stop! The more you kill the larger they'll be when they reform.
Hatter: I really don't see-
Impy: How the hell do you think I got tied up? *continues to kick at the bunnies*
*as if on cue a large bunny steps out from behind the tree*
Dean: Son of a Bitch!

Zed: 3:26

Zed: WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!
*loud booming voice*
WHO DARES DISTURB THIS ISLAND'S PEACE?
Zed: Tesla did it. Save us, oh mysterious voice!
IT SHALL BE DONE.
*loud clap of thunder*
Choco!Bunnies: *begin to disappear one by one*
Zed: Thank you, cloud man.
I AM NO MAN.
*a heavenly light floats down to the Island and takes the form of a human*
Zed: Rocky? What the hell?
I SAW IN TESLA'S MIND HIS--
Zed: Hold on a sec, can you, um, can you stop that? It's giving me a headache.
Rock: As you wish. I saw in Tesla's mind his plan. So I took form in the heavens to protect our solace.
Zed: ... ... ... What the fuck.
Rock: SHUT UP! I'M BEING A GOD!
Zed: 0.0 Ohhhhkaaaayyy.
Rock: I have removed the evil thoughts from the one called Tesla's mind. He shall henceforth be as docile as a rabbit.
Zed: I really hope you don't mean his little chocolate rabbits.
Rock: I shall take my leave. Enjoy your peace, I shall return when you need me most... Unless I get really horny... I'd probably return at that point too... Farewell.
Zed: OK, for real? What the hell?!

Impy: 3:30

Impy: o.O
Hatter: You ok?
Impy: Does stuff like this happen often?
Zed:...Sometimes.
Impy: I think I need hut time.
Hatter: *picks her up and carries her to the hut*
Zed: Oooook now that that's over with....Where is Tesla?

Zed: 3:38

Tessy: *shouting from the woods, at the top of a tree* HELLO? Can anyone hear me?
Lorne: Yes, we can. What the hell do you want?
Tessy: *whimpers* Help me.
Lorne: Help you what?
Tesla: Down. Scared of heights. *clings to tree for dear life*
Lorne: You gotta be kidding me.
Tessy: I assure you I'm not. And if you help me I promise to never attempt to control the Island ever, ever again.
Zed: You can't anyway, the evil is gone.
Tessy: *wry smile* It's never all gone, baby.
Zed: *blank stare*
Tessy: OH JUST GET ME DOWN!
Zed: *sigh* Fine. *snaps fingers and Tesla appears next to her on the ground* Happy?
Tessy: Exceedingly. Now, since I'm not evil anymore.... Hut? Please?
Zed: *big grin* No. The evil's never all gone. Baby. *evil grin*
Tessy: Son. Of. A. Bitch.
Zed: *walking away with the others* Lorne, you made an excellent team leader today, you deserve some hut!time. *jumps in his arms* Away with me. ;P
Lorne: Yes, ma'am!

Impy: 3:47

Impy: *walks out of hut* ALRIGHT! MEN FALL IN LINE
Men: *line up*
Impy: Now, I saw some great work today with the bunnies.
Mal: Thank you ma'am.
Impy: You're welcome. As I was saying, great work. By this time I'm sure you all know that I am looking for Spencer Reid.
Sparrow: ...Dillygaf?
Impy: shh....I'm also sure you all know that my powers are not as extensive as Zed's and Rocky's. So, I need your help.
Alec: And why exactly are we helping you?
Impy: I give you double jointed sex, that's reason enough.
Dean Touche.
Impy: Ok, now someone get the horses and you'll help me look because I have no idea where anything is....

Zed: 3:55

Zed: *watches them walk off* Tsk tsk. Don't you know anything?
Impy: About this place? No.
Zed: *snaps fingers* *Reid walks out of the woods* Mind control is a wonderful thing.
Reid: *to Zed* You called?
Zed: Yes. Stop running off. You're frustrating Impy.
Reid: My apologies, my liege.
Zed: Yeah, that's creepy. *snaps fingers to remove mind control*
Reid: *snaps out of it* *to Impy* Uh... Helloooo.
Impy: *swoons*
Zed: Go have some fun kiddos!
*Reid leads Impy to th hut*
Zed: You gonna call the men back to the beach?
Impy: How do you words?
Zed: Right... Well I'm not either. Hope they like camping.
Lorne: That's incredibly evil... And hot.
Zed: *big grin* Good boy. Now time for round two! *kicks the door shut behind her*

Island Adventure: Good Night and Good Luck

Rock posted 9:05

*pop*
Rock: Okay Men, listen up.
Men: *gather round*
Rock: Our beloved Zeddy is leaving us-
Men: *wailing* NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Rock: *holds up hand for silence*
Men: *quietly sob*
Rock: We'll miss her terribly but tonight's not about that, tonight we celebrate the love and good times we've shared over the past years.
Men: *sniffle*
Rock: So shape up, dig deep for your manly sexiness, and you sex that woman up like never before!
Men: *rousing cheer*
Rock: *snaps fingers* *"WE LOVE YOU!" "WE'LL MISS YOU", "DON'T FORGET TO WRITE", "HAVE FUN STORMING THE CASTLE" banners appear everywhere* I feel like we're missing something *ponders* Ah-ha! *snaps in giant cake*
Ronom: O_O I think I just died and went to heaven.
Rock: Not yet, but if you touch that cake before Zeddy gets here you will die, but heaven will NOT be on the menu for your afterlife.
Ronom: *cowers*
Rock: Now, all of you, into the cake!

Zeddy posted 9:15

*pop*
Zed: Oh boys! You're so sweet!
Rock: *clears throat*
Zed: Oh right! You too. *mega!huggles* I'm gonna miss you. *wipes tears*
Rock: No! No no no no no! You may not cry! *getting misty* If you cry, I'll cry. And I refuse to cry!
Zed: *sniffles* OK. No crying. Just sexing.
Rock: That's the spirit!
O'Neill: As the honorary leader of the Men, I ask of you, who has the honor of hut time on your final night?
Zed: *bites lip* There's so many of you... There's only one thing to do. *snaps fingers*
*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*
pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*pop*
Zeddy clones: What the?
Real!Zed: Now you all get love! I'll take you first Jack! *jumps and goes to hut*
Zed clones: *each pick up a Hot and run off to various parts of the Island*

Rock posted 9:22

Rock: Wow...a hundred Zeddys.
Tesla: I'm not sure if I should be afraid or turned on.
Rock: Probably both. Wait. Why aren't you with a clone?
Tesla: Apparently she's still mad at me about the whole "taking over the Island" thing.
Rock: I don't think we'd have minded so much if you hadn't done such a crap job of running the place.
Tesla: True. My plans for world domination always seem to stop once I've achieved the domination part, I never really look past that.
Rock: *giggles*
Tesla: You didn't hear anything after "I've achieved the domination" did you?
Rock: *shakes head* *giggles more*
Tesla: *sighs* Why are you my overlord again?
Rock: *frowns* *snaps fingers*
Tesla: *bottom half is turned into a chicken* Oh...yeah.
*somewhere in the distance Will and Druitt laugh their asses off*

Zeddy posted 9:28

Men: *trudging slowly back to the Island*
Jack: *carrying the real Zed*
Rock: What happened to her?
Jack: Apparently everything the clones felt, she felt.
Everyone else: ... .. Goddamn.
Zed: *begins to stir* Brain overloaded. Going into sleep mode. *light snores*
Rock: But you'll miss the party!
Ronom: I wouldn't worry about it... It's not like there's care or anything. >_>
Everyone looks at him
Ronom: *face is covered in icing and his stomach looks distended* What?
Rock: You fucking fat-ass!
Ronom: Umm... Whoops?

Rock posted 9:43

Rock: You know, no one will love you if you don't have abs of steel.
Ronom: Will I still get cake?
Rock: No.
Ronom: *hits the gym*
Rock: If you barf, I'm making Fargo clean it up!
Fargo: Hey! *ponders* On the other hand, maybe I can test your DNA and make myself a chick magnet cologne based on your sexy pheromones.
Rock: Trust me. Wouldn't help.
Fargo: *oblivious to logic*
Rock: *snaps in new cake*
Ronom: CAAAAAAAAKKKKEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!! *runs over from gym* *leaps at cake* *bounces off force field*
Rock: Special Ronom repelling shield. *grins*
Zed: You have waaaaaayyyy too much time on your hands.
Rock: Aren't you in a post-coital coma?
Zed: Oh yeah *passes out*

Zeddy posted 9:48

Zed: *jumps up* Meh. I've got too little time to be comatose!
Rock: Well, how do you want to spend your last night here?
Zed: Um IDK. We already did he sex thing. How 'bout some good, old-fashioned hot?

Rock posted 9: 54

Rock: But don't you already have hot?
Zed: No, not that hot the other hot.
Rock: How many hot can there be?
Zed: Hot is infinite. Fargo can prove it.
Rock: No he can't, he's Fargo.
Zed: ...True.
Fargo: HEY!
Rock: *still deliberately obtuse*

Zeddy posted 10:00

Zed: Not prove it as in give us an example but prove it and in sciency math and stuff. He is technically a genius.
Fargo: That is the single sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Zed: F your life.
Fargo: Aww. ):
Zed: Hot pleeeeeeeease?
Rock: *sigh* I may be getting just a bit happy you're leaving.
Zed: *smiles as this was her plan*

Rock posted 10:05

Rock: *sighs*
Zed: *puppy eyes*
Rock: *sings* Graverobber, Graverobber, sometimes I wonder why I even bother.

Zeddy posted 10:09

Zed: Moooooore! MORE! *sinister laugh*
Rock: O-o
Zed: *clears throat* OK that was weird, I'm sorry. More, please?
Rock: Are you going to get crazy again?
Zed: ... I can't promise I won't.
Rock: *sigh*

Rock posted 10:11

Rock: Ummm.... *sings* I like big butts and I cannot lie!
Not!Bender: Should I be offended? I think I should be offended!

Zeddy posted 10:14

Zed: Shut up bitch, you like it.
Not!Bender: ... I do. *hangs head in shame*

Rock posted 10:20

Rock: Only one more after this boo.
Zed: *whine*pleading puppy eyes*
Rock: Sorry sweetie. *sings* Stargate, it's a great big world. With a great big swirl, that you step inside to another world.
Zed: Pretty....
Rock: Pick whomever you'd like to see, Zeddy.

Zeddy posted 10:

Zed: Only one more?
Rock: Yep.
Zed: Ever?
Rock: Until you bring your ass back to me.
Zed: Really?
Rock: Yup.
Zed: *bites lip* OK... For my last Hot, I pick...
Tesla: *hopeful*
Zed/Rock: NO!
Zed: OK. My last choice for hot is... Pavi.
Pavi: OH YES!
Zed: Goddamn it. SHUT UP!
Pavi: *is a normal voice* Yeah, alright,
Everyone: *gives confuzzled looks*

Rock posted 10:

Rock: Well...that was unsettling. And considering it's me, that's saying quite a lot.
Zed: *nods*
Rock: *shrugs* Anyway *sings* Pavi steals all of the hearts.
Zed: ....
Rock: *sings* Especially with his original face!
Zed: YAY!
Rock: Goodbye boo. I love you so much, have fun on your trip, and don't be a stranger. You're always welcome here.
Zed: I damn well outta be, I built the place!
Rock: Would you stop stepping on my sentimental moment?
Zed: Right *coughs*
Rock: *sad music begins playing* Farewell my love *super!awesome!mega!huggles*

Zed posted 10:43

Zed: I'm gonna miss you too babe. I love you. *clings* ... All of you. You helped me through some of the hardest and horniest times of my life. This place means a lot. And it always will. Thank you.
*Everyone weeps*
Zed: Bye guys, for the last time.
*sad pop*

Island Adventure 12-11-10

Impy Posted 8:42

*pop*
Impy: Seriously, what the hell is this place *looks at random hot men* Not that I mind.
Hatter: *steps forward* 'Ello, haven't seen you in a while.
Impy: *confused* Where'd you-? *eyes near by tree* Tree sex?
Hatter: *squints sexily**nods* ....Alright.

Zed: Posted 9:04

*pop*
Zed: Huh? Where's my partner in insanity?
Stark: She's not here.
Zane: Someone else is tho.
Zed: Coolies?
Zane: Noo, someone else.
Zed: Oooohhhh yeah... She's nice, you'll like her.
Rock: *disembodied voice* But you better not like her better than us.
Zed: What she said.
Men: *confused*
O'Neill: But... Does she even know who we are?
Zed: Not most of you... But you're sexy so she won't care.
...
Moving on! Who wants to a company me to the hut whilst I wait to haze the new girl?
Tesla: If you don't mind--
Zed: NO! You were a bad boy and you're being punished.
Tesla: Don't pretend you don't like it when we're bad.
Zed: *glares*
Tesla: ... That actually, physically hurts...
Zed: *smiles* Now... Let's see... Ummm... Pavi!
Pavi: YES?!
Zed: *jumps in his arms* Hut. Now. And no face stealing.
Pavi: OH YES!
Tesla: Oh no. *pout*

Impy 9:18

*wanders back onto beach*
Impy: *rubs back* I really wish I had a hut to do that in.
Hatter: Yeah, you might try gettin' one of those.
Impy: *looks at men* ...Can't you lovely gentlemen build me one? Please?
Men: *in unison* Our masters have not given us permission.
Impy: Masters?
Dean: They're insane...and sexy.
Men: *nod*
Westley: And to be perfectly honest, we're all fine with this.
Impy: *confused*
McGee: Just, please don't tell them that.
Dean: Have I mentioned they're sexy? Like really really sexy.
Impy: *still confused*...Ooook, but what does their sexiness have to do with building me a hut?


Zeddy Posted 9:31

Zed: Our sexiness controls them.
Pavi: OH YES!
Zed Is that all you can say?!
Pavi: OH YES!
Zed: AHH! *snap*
Pavi: *is knocked out by an anvil falling on his head*
Zed: There. Problem solved.
Impy: Why can the men not build me my own hut?
Zed: Because our sexy is overwhelming?
Impy: ...
Zed: We use our powers--
Mason: She means their vaginas.
Zed: *clears throat* We use our powers of sexiness to control them. We bend them to our will.
Impy: *blank stare*
Zed: They do as we say and we'll do what they want.
Impy: Well... Can you tell them to build me my own hut?
Zed: No need. *snap*
*a fourth hut appears next to Zeddy, Rocky and Collies' huts*
Zed: There ya go. *stretches* All that work wore me out... I could really use someone to work out my kinks... *looks around*
Ronom: I DEMAND ATTENTION!
Zed: ... OK. *jumps Ronom and is carried off to her hut*

Impy Posted 9:41

Impy: What? Wait!
Ronom: *looks to Zed*
Zed: *nods*
Ronom: *pauses and turns around*
Zed: Yes?
Impy: I wanted a hut...
Zed: And?
Impy: You made it appear out of nothing...
Zed: ...Your point?
Impy: Can I do that?
Zed: Eh... Why the hell not? Sure.... Ronom, hut!
Impy: *evil grin* Awesome.
Men: *terrified*
Impy: Oh shut up, you like it.
Men: *shrug* We do.

Zed: Posted 9:54

Zed: *comes back alone*
Sheppard: Where's Ronon?
Zed: Ronom is asleep in the hut. *eyeroll* I know it's been a year but sex should not wear someone out that much.
Shep: Well... Sex with you is kind of like running a marathon.
Zed: Yeah. OK. Anyway... Who gets the top honor of the night?
Impy: What's top honor?
Zed: Spending all of the time we're away with our e-selves.
Impy: Huh... OK.
Zed: Let's see...
Tesla: *makes himself as tall as he can*
Zed: Give it up Nikola!
Tesla: *walks off cursing*
Zed: OK... Top honor goes to... Rick! *jumps* I'll make a walker outta you.
Rick: I'm pretty sure that's not a good thing...
Zed: We'll see...

Impy Posted 10:15

Impy: Well, what about these guys?
Zed: ...What do you mean?
Impy: What do they do when we're not here?
Zed: ....One time they made a treasure hunt for Rocky and I. Huh, what do you guys do when we're not here? Well, not our RL selves anyway.
Nine: We knit.
Impy: With what?
Ten: Bamboo... and twigs.
Zed: What else?
Wash: We swap stories.
Mal: Generally, we stick to not killin' each other and avoiding insanity.
Impy: Good to know.
Zed: Where was I...oh, Rick, you're about to be zombified...or walkerfied or whatever...Hut!
Rick: Yes, mam'
*go to hut*
Impy: *looks at her hut* ...Volunteers?
Faramir: *steps forward* Mi'lady.
Impy: ....Oh, I do love it here. *goes to hut*

Island Adventure: A New Hope

Rock - Posted 9:15

*pop*pop*
Rock: We're baaaaa-*hacking cough*
Zeddy: The hell?! This place is covered in dust and cobwebs!
Rock: I think I just saw Shelob O_o
Zeddy: Where are the Men? They were supposed to keep this place tidy, they are SO going to bed without supper.
Rock: I think our first mistake was expecting men to clean.
Zeddy: We give them sex, the least they could do is pick up a frickin' dust rag.
Rock: Maybe they were decorating for Halloween and just forgot to- AHH! BAT!
Zeddy: *snaps fingers* *begins waving baseball bat around menacingly*
Rock: No, actual flying mammal bat!
Zeddy: I know, why do you think I'm armed? Come on ya furry bastard, Auntie Zeddy's got a present for you!
-----
Zeddy - Posted 9:23

Bat: SQUEAK SQUEAK! SQUEAKERY!
Rock: Holy shit! ZEDDY STOP!
Zed: What? Why? It's a friggen bat!!!
Rock: IT'S MELVIN!
Zed: *throws bat down* OMG MELVIN! I'm so sorry!
Melvin: *squeak squeak* SQUEAK!
Zed: No I wouldn't have. And even if I had I could have brought you back.
Melvin: *angry squeak*
Zed: I'z sorry.
Rock: Melvin, if you don't mind, where are the men and why's this place so wrecked?
Melvin: Squeak squeak squeakery squee.
Rock: Dictator? I don't think--
Zed: Goddamn it Tesla!
Rock/Zed: *both sigh*
Zed: *snaps fingers*
Tesla: *appears* Well... Shit.
-----
Rock - posted 9:37

Tesla: I'm going to wring that rodent's neck for ratting me out.
Melvin: Squeak squeakity! *hides behind Zed*
Rock: Tessy! *goes to jump*
Zed: Whoa girl! *grabs back of Rock's shirt* Did you forget why we snapped him in?
Rock: For sex?
Zed: Ye- No! Because he created a dictatorship and ruined the Island.
Tesla: "Ruined" is a bit strong don't you think?
Rock: Shut it man-meat. Everything's coming back to me now...sorry, it's just been so long and he's so hot and...*begins to drool*
Zed: *bitchslaps Rock with CBOS* (Cinder Block of Shame)
Rock: Thanks, I needed that.
Tesla: I know what else you need *suggestive leer*
Rock: *shuts eyes* I can't see you, you don't tempt me!
Tesla: I can seduce you with my voice, admit it, you're drawn to me like a magnet.
Rock: Bad jokes and crappy pickup lines make me cranky *slaps him with CBOS* Now, where are the other men and what the fuck happened on OUR ISLAND?!
-----
Zed - Posted 9:45

Zed: You abandoned it...
Rock: I did no--
Zed: FOCUS!
Rock: Uh... Right. *points at Tesla* You fucked it up.
Tesla: Did I? I think I quite improved over the former hierarchy.
Zed: But... Tessy... Mm... Tesla. *gets closed to him* You know the problems with being in charge...
Tesla: I do?
Rock: *catching on* Yeah... You know us. Being in control... The power. *bites lip*
Zed: *moans* The power is... *wistful sigh*
Rock: But with you in charge...
Zed/Rock: *dissatisfied sigh*
Tesla: *gulp* But... I...Uh... You... Um...
Zed: You wouldn't want to disappoint us would you?
Rock: You want us don't you?
Tesla: I-I-I... Uh-huh.
Zed: There's one solution.
Rock: It's simple, really.
Zed: Un-fuck this place and... You'll get fucked. *innocent smile*
-----
Rock - posted 9:53

*Rock&Zed look on in amazement*
Rock: I must admit, I'm impressed by his work ethic.
Zed: It was sweet of him to release all the men from the prison compound he forced them to build so they could help.
Tesla: *sitting back drinking lemonade* Sometimes I even astound myself with my own beneficence.
Rock: It's true, you are a god amongst men.
Tesla: *sighs* I used to be.
Zed: Awww, are you feeling inadequate?
Tesla: Maybe a little.
Zed: *pets sympathetically* ...Good. Now get off your ass and help Will scrub the jello pit.
Tesla: But it's so sticky in there *whine*
Rock: Just imagine how much fun you'll have when we clean you off *eyebrow wiggle*
Tesla: Will! To the jello pit! Move! *runs off to clean*
Zed: *giggles evilly*
Rock: Are we actually going to have sex with him as a reward for doing all this?
Zed: ...Eventually.
Both: Mwahahahahahahahaha!
-----
Zeddy - Posted 10:05

Zed: While we're getting thing's all fixed up again, might as well meet your new neighbors!
Rock: Starting with: *reading from list* Robber, Grave.
*pop*
Graverobber: Um that's act--
Rock: Who will henceforth be known as Gravy.
Zed: Wait, what? really?
Rock: Yes, really. Next is... Pavi Largo.
*pop*
Pavi: Oh yes!
Zed: *snaps*
*pop*
*Pavi's stolen face is gone*
Pavi: Oh no! ):
Zed: Much better!
Rock: Up next: Verbal Kint and Fred Fenster.
*pop*pop*
Zed: Fred? Is that really your first name?
Fenster: Habasdiuscjknsdflkjtoiu,
Zed: Uh-huh. O_O
Rock: Next: Romeo, the third Saint.
*pop*
Romeo: DING DONG MOTHERFUCKERS! DING DOOONG!
Rock: *blink*blink* Followed by Ed Dalton.
*pop*
Zed: My turn! Next up Daryl Dixon and Rick Grimes!
*pop*pop*
Zed: OK, I think that's it... NOW! WHO wants to help me break in the new mattress in the hut?
Tesla: *raises hand gleefully* Meeee!!!
Rock: NO! You clean.
Zed/Tessy: *epic sad*
Zed: Fine. Fenster!
Fenster:sdlkfjcsortudflvjn
Zed: *jumps in his arms* Let's go over there and *mumbles the rest of it*
Fenster: *enthusiastically* Warite!
-----
Rock- posted 10:16

Rock: Um...the hell is wrong with *consults list* Fenster?
Verbal: *shrugs* That's just Fenster.
Rock: Okay then....
Daryl: What the fuck is going on?! Is that crazy dude a zombie?!
Rick: What are zombies? I thought he was a Walker.
Rock: *slaps Rick* They're Zombies Rick, just admit it and embrace the Z word.
Romeo: *pokes Daryl's cheek* Dude. Do I know you? And why are you carrying a crossbow? And have a string of squirrel bodies draped around your neck?
Daryl: *is about to throw down*
Rock: Boys, boys, boys! There will be no fighting! ...Okay there will be no fighting unless it's over who gets hut!time.
Daryl: Hut time?
Rick: Seriously, what are zombies?
Rock: *facepalm* I'm going to go show Daryl what hut!time is. Rick, this is a zombie *snaps in zombie*
Rick: *screams* Walker!
Rock: .... .... .... I'll be back when I've worked off some of this frustration.
Daryl: *attempting to beat zombie to death with squirrel!chain*
Rock: Daryl! Heel!
Daryl: Must. Kill!
Rock: Fuckberries.
-----
Zed - Posted 10:25

Zed: *strolling back*
Fenster: ,vcnsldfjaskjfseitulgjnxc,vmns,vmchnskfhsletiugn
Zed: Fuck'd he say?
Radek: He said that was awesome and he thinks your his favorite.
*everyone looks at Zelenka*
Zed: How?
Fenster: ckxcvkjchvkjhstoi?
Zed: You're lucky you're pretty.
Fenster: I'll flip ya!
Zed: o-O Aaaaanyway... *walks away* Hmmm... Let's see... Who goes next...
Tesla: *jumping up and down* Meeeeee.
Zed: Rocky says no.
Tesla: Aww. ):
Zed: Now... Pavi! *jumps* Hut. Now. You too Gravy!
All three: *go to hut*
-----
Rock- posted 10:40

Rock: Daryl, why don't you just shoot the zombie with your crossbow? Why the hell do you think we let you keep it when you were zapped in?
Daryl: Why don't you just zap it back out?
Rick: *battling zombie while still insisting he doesn't know what zombies are*
Rock: *giggles* Because I have a twisted sense of humor.
Daryl: Fair enough, squirrel? *offers*
Rock: And they say romance is dead...much like those squirrels...and the ZOMBIE!
Rick: *manly scream* *embeds ax in zombie's skull*
Rock: That was...wow *fans self* *wanders over to Rick*
Daryl: Hey! We were talking here.
Rock: *petting Rick's muscles* Pretty....
Rick: Um, I'm married.
Rock: *snaps fingers*
Rick: Wow...my wife's a bitch. I think I need to have ridiculous amounts of revenge!sex.
Rock: Daryl, you come too.
Rick/Daryl: Wait, what?!
Rock: My Island *pause* Sorry boo, OUR Island, our rules *grins*
Daryl: Lady has a point.
Rick: It would really piss off my wife.
Rick/Daryl: We're in!
Rock: It's so cute that you two thought you had any say in this *pinches their cheeks*
Rick/Daryl: *get goosed*
All: *to the hut*
 -----
 Zed - Posted: 10:56

Zed: That would have been much more fun if a certain someone wasn't trying to drug me and another certain someone wasn't trying to steal my face...
Gravy/Pavi: *guilty faces*
Fen: Nawyugongostealladyface?
Zed: Hey! I understood that!
Fen: Justtakesomge'inuseto.
Zed: THAT TOO! Breakthrough!
Verbal: Is it really that impressive? I mean Stephen Baldwin can do it for Christ's sake...
Zed: That's a good point... But... DILLIGAF?
Sparrow: *jumps out from behind a rock* AYE! *takes a swig of rum*
Zed: ... How long were you back there?
Sparrow: *hold up 10 gallon bottle of rum, nearly empty* This was full when I hid...
Zed: So about 5 minutes?
Sparrow: That's about it.
Fen: Whothepisshellfucktryntatakedalady?
Zed: Don't worry about him taking me. He has perpetual whiskey dick.
Sparrow: Dilly-gaff? *stomps off*
Zed: I missed him... ANYWAY! Who's up? VERBAL!
Verbal: O_O
Zed: My kinky side wants you for two reasons... One of which I can't mention.
Verbal: ...
Zed: Just... Hut. Now.
Both: *leave*
Fen: Hellnawthatsumbitch!
-----
Rock- posted 11:12

Rock: *punches Fen*
Fen: Wthellthtfr?
Rock: You make my brain hurt *pouts*
Sparrow: When did you get back from the hut?
Rock: Just now...I'm very sneaky.
Daryl: It's true.
Rick: She stalked us and then leapt upon us like a ravenous beast.
Daryl: It was hella sexy.
Rick: *nods*
Sparrow: You boys look like you could use a drink.
Rick: Thanks *reaches for bottle*
Sparrow: Oi! I said you looked like you could use a drink, not that you could have mine!
Rock: I love it when you get possessive about your alcohol. *yoinks bottle and finishes off*
Sparrow: *opens mouth to yell* *remembers who he's talking to* Can I get you a refill, love?
Rock: Not right now, I'm in the mood for something else. *jumps Will* Have you properly adjusted to life on the Island yet?
Will: I most certainly have :D
Rock: Oh...*jumps off* You're much less interesting now.
Will: *looks like kicked puppy*
Rock: Lupo! I've missed you on L&O *leaps into his arms* Take me to the hut and ravish me.
Lupo: Can do!
Will: *calling after them* I have mommy issues! That's interesting!
Rock: No it isn't :P
-----
Zed - Posted 11:21

Zed: OI! You hurt my pretty!
*pause*
Zed: It is fun to play nurse but it doesn't mean you get to beat my men willy-nilly!
*pause*
Zed: Don't you goddamn DILLIGAF me! I will drag your happy ass out here!
*pause*
Zed: You're lucky I don't want to see that!
Fen: Bitchgunpunchme'inidentdonuthin.
Zed: I know she's so mean, right? I'll make it up to you now. For the next few hours at least. ;) *jumps Fen*
Fen: *carries Zed off excitedly*
Tesla: OH COME ON?! HE GETS TO GO TWICE AND I HAD TO CLEAN THE JELLO PIT THE WHOLE TIME?!?!?! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---
-----
Rock- posted 11:33

Rock: *pats Tesla's head condescendingly* There, there.
Tesla: You mean you'll take me to the hut?
Rock: ...No. Consider this your punishment for trying to take over the Island.
Tesla: I don't "try", I actually did take over the Island!
Rock: Yeah, that'll help your case. *walks away*
Tesla: *hangs head* Why did I open my big mouth?
Will: Because for a brilliant guy you're kinda stupid?
Tesla: I can kill you with my brain.
Rock: *giggles*
Tesla: I amused you, does that mean-
Rock: Still no. Druitt! Hut. Now!
Druitt: Gladly, darling. *teleports Rock to hut*
Tesla: Seriously?! That's just adding insult to injury. *sigh* At least she didn't take Wil-
Druitt: *appears* Excuse me gentlemen *grabs Will* Your presence is...requested. Demanded. *both vanish*
Tesla: I hate my life...

New Island adventure tonight!

Tonight Rocky and I will be hosting an Island party starting at around 9. Rocky will start in a new post and as the night goes on we'll be adding in stuff through edits.

It may be a little rough, it's been quite a while since we've done this. :\

So be sure to tune in! ;)

The List

The ever growing, always crazy, List. Enjoy!

(Note: Some links might not work, it's been a while since we tried out all of them. Some characters might not even have pictures; We're currently working on updating the list, bear with us, please.)




Men:

10^th Kingdom

Wolf

Actors/Real People

Andy Serkis
Craig Ferguson

Dierks Bentley

Edward Norton
Eric Stuart

Jason Michael Carroll

Kenny Chesney

Not!Bender (AKA John DiMaggio)

Seth MacFarlane

Toby Keith

Val Valentino

Alice

Hatter

Boondock Saints

Conner McManus

Murphy McManus

Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day

Romeo

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

Angel

Daniel “Oz” Ozborn

Rupert “Ripper” Giles

Spike

Xander Harris

Burn Notice

Michael Weston

Sam Axe

Castle

Rick Castle

CSI: NY

Adam Ross

Danny Messer

Don Flack

Daybreakers

Ed Dalton

Dark Angel

Alec McDowell

Dead Like Me

Mason

Die Hard

Hans Gruber

John McClane

Doctor Who

The Doctor (9^th edition)

The Doctor (10^th edition)

Eureka

Douglas Fargo

Henry Deacon

Jack Carter

Jim Taggart

Nathan Stark

Zane Donovan

Firefly

Hoban “Wash” Washburne

Jayne Cobb (and Vera)

Malcolm Reynolds

Simon Tam

Fringe

Peter Bishop
Game Of Thrones
Is everyone an acceptable answer? Everyone except Joffrey.

House

Greg House

Jeremiah

Markus Alexander
King Kong
Captain Englehorn
Jack Driscoll
Kingdom Hospital

Dr. Hook

Law and Order

Cyrus Lupo

Ed Green

Legion

Michael

Life on Mars

DCI Gene Hunt

DI Sam Tyler

Lord of the Rings, The

Aragorn

Eomer

Faramir

Lost

James “Sawyer” Ford

MacGyver

MacGyver

Mulan

Shang

Mummy, The

Ardeth Bay

Mystery Science Theater 3000

Mike

Joel

Kevin

Trace

NCIS

Donald “Ducky” Mallard

Jimmy Palmer

Leroy Jethro Gibbs

Tony DiNozzo

Timothy McGee

Night at the Museum

Ahkmenrah

Pirates of the Caribbean

Jack Sparrow

Primeval

Danny Quinn

Steven Hart

Princess Bride, The

Inigo Montoya

Westley

Princess Diaries 2, The

Andrew Jacoby

Nicholas Deveraux

Psych

Burton Guster

Carlton Lassiter

Shawn Spenser

Pushing Daisies

Ned

Rent

Mark Cohen

Roger Davis

Tom Collins

Repo! The Genetic Opera

Graverobber

Pavi (Sans Stolen Face)

Resident Evil

Leon Kennedy
The River
Captain Kurt Brynildson

Sanctuary

Henry Foss

John Druitt

Nikola Tesla

Dr. Will “Huggy-Bear” Zimmerman

Saw

Adam

Det. Hoffman

Scrubs

Janitor

Dr. Perry Cox

Shaun of the Dead

Shaun
Sons Of Anarchy
Kozik
Jean Carlos 'Juice' Ortiz 
Filip 'Chibs' Telford
Jackson 'Jax' Teller
Alex 'Tig' Trager
Harry 'Opie' Winston

Star Trek: Alternate Universe

James T. Kirk

Leonard “Bones” McCoy

Spock

Sulu

Star Trek: The Next Generation

Data

Jean Luc Picard

William Riker

Worf, son of Mogue

Stargate: Atlantis

Lieutenant Aiden Ford

Doctor Carson Beckett

Evan Lorne

Halling

John Sheppard

Radek Zelenka

Rodney McKay

Ronon Dex

Todd the Wraith

Stargate: SG-1

Ba’al

Cameron Mitchell

Daniel Jackson

Jack O’Neill

Jonas Quinn

Major Paul Davis

Teal’c

Stargate: Universe

David Telford, Colonel

Everett Young, Colonel

Mathew Scott, Lieutenant

Nicholas Rush, Doctor

Supernatural

Bobby Singer

Castiel

Dean Winchester

John Winchester

Sam Winchester

Titus

Christopher Titus

Dave

Tomb Raider

Bryce

Torchwood

Captain Jack Harckness

Owen Harper

True Blood

Eric Northman

Sam Merlotte

Usual Suspects

Fenster

Verbal

Walking Dead

Daryl Dixon

Rick Grimes

X-Men

Kurt Wagner aka Nightcrawler

Logan aka Wolverine

Warren aka Angel

Young Guns

‘Jose’ Chavez y Chavez

Adorable Creatures:

Craig Ferguson

Wavy the Crocodile

Doctor Who

Bannakaffalatta

Futurama

Bender

Nibbler

I Can Has Cheezburger

Cat!Door!Faun

Laser Disc

LaserDisc Turtle (LD)

LPW Quest

Melvin the Bat

Mystery Science Theater 3000

Tom Servo

Crow

Gypsy

Rate My Everything

Pancake!Bunny

Sanctuary

Big Guy aka Bigfoot

Something Positive

Choo-Choo Bear

Stargate: Atlantis

Carson’s Pet Sheep: Hubert

Carson’s Wee Baby Turtles

Strindberg and Helium

Helium

Zeddy’s School Mascot

Pop-Tart Monster

The Island - Part 2

 Before you read this there are a few things you should know:

Lupo is Detective Lupo from the last few seasons of Law & Order.

And this is his awesome hat that makes him look adorable:

 Also, I was either pregnant at this point or I had just miscarried and I was all drugged up. Rocky has no such excuse...

*pop* *pop*
Zed: *British accent* 'Ello boys!
Rock: Don't do that.
Zed: Kay.
Men: *confused*
Zed: [biggrin]You're all so adorable when you're confused!
Rock:[yes]
Fargo: Even me?
Zed&Rock: *share a look*
Zed: Even you--
Fargo: *starts to speak*
Rock: BUT! Don't push it.
Zed: Okay men, we have some new additions to the Island!
Men: *pout*
Zed: First off, John Druitt. *snap*
*pop*
Rock: Up next is Will Zimmerman! *snap*
*pop*
Zed: Anyone else? *doesn't wait for an answer* Druitt! Hut. Now.
John: Are you always this way?
Zed: [yes]*jumps him* Now go!

Sparrow: I new a "Will" once...very stupid.
Will: I'm a forensic psychologist and have degrees in-
Sparrow: Shhhh! Dilly-gaff mate.
Will: Excuse me?
Sparrow: It's what the crazy one's always saying when she's bored.
Rock: Me?
Sparrow: No, t'other one. Wait, there really are two of you right? I'm not seeing double?
Rock: Don't make me confiscate the rum.
Will: What's "Dilly-gaff"?
Sparrow: Not the rum!
Rock: *ignores pleading Jack* I think he means D-I-L-L-I-G-A-F, which stands for-
Will: Oh! I know what that stands for.
Rock: Did he just interrupt me?
Sparrow: Blood hell now you've done it.
Rock: He interrupted me...I was ignoring someone far scruffier and with an accent for the fresh meat and he interrupted me.
Sparrow: Jacks! Assemble!
*O'Neill, Carter and Harkness arrive*
O'Neill: Oh crap. We've got a red light situation, Jacks disrobe!
*Jack4 remove shirts*
Rock: *is distracted*
Carter: No one make any sudden moves, if we can get her to the hut we should be able to avoid bloodshed.
Rock: But I like a little....
Will: *scared*
Harkness: So do we love, so do we.
Sparrow: I told ya Wills were stupid...no one ever listens.
*orgy moves to hut*

Zed: *giggle* *sneaks up behind Will and grabs his ass*
Will: Ahhh!!! *jumps*
Zed: *collapses in a fit of giggles* I'm..[laugh] sorry! I couldn't-- Bwahahahaha!-- help myself. *giggle* *regains composure* *deep breath* Ok... I'm ok. *walks off*
Will: That one scares me.
Druitt: *scared!nod* She's quite... odd.
Will: That coming from time traveling, space warping Jack the Ripper... My life is weird.
Zed: I know who we forgot!!! *snaps fingers*
Mason: *pop* What the bloody hell was that?!... Where're my clothes?
Zed: *innocent face* Um... In that hut. *points* I'll take you to get them and something else.[wink] *jumps in his arms*
Mason: What?
Zed: Nothing love let's just go...
Mason: *carries Zed to hut*

Rock: Well the good news is she can't kill him since he's already dead...the bad news is she knows this and will have no restraint with him.
Will: What does that mean?
Rock: *hands earplugs* It's gonna be a long night.
Will: *quakes in terror*
Sheppard: *whisper* Are you done hazing the new guy yet?
Rock: *snicker* Not even close.[biggrin]
Sheppard: Have I told you lately how much your evil side turns me on?
Rock: Why don't you show me? *is carried to hut*

Zed: *is layed on the sand* Ah Mason... Mason, Mason, Mason.... Your wank really is the key...
Mason: *blush* Would ya mind tellin' that to Daisy?
Zed: No! You belong to me now!
Mason: Like a hooker?
Zed: No. I own you forever, not just an hour.
Mason: *whispers to O'Neill* She's mean.
Zed: DILLIGAF?
Sparrow: See?! Dilly-gaff.
Zed: *hangs head* You're lucky you're sexy.
...
Zed: You've yet to be de-flowered... *jumps Will* Is it bad that I find that hot? wait-- Don't analyze me.
Will: OK...
Zed: Hut! *is carried off*
Rock: Where's the new guy?
*pause*
Rock: But I was playing with him!
*pause*
Rock: Oh yeah?!
*pause*
Rock: I was not wasting time, the more scared he got the better the sex was gonna be!
*pause*
Rock: I suppose you're right, there is nothing quite so traumatizing as spending time with you in the hut.
*pause*
Rock: Come on, you left yourself open for that one!
*pause*
Rock: *sigh* Alright, I'm sorry.
Druitt: And they call me crazy....
Henry: *shrug* You get used to it.
Druitt: You're the scruffy one, why are you not quaking in terror?
Henry: The girls like me, think I'm cute [yes]
Druitt: Do you expect them to stop me?
Henry: I really hope so....
Rock: Hey! John boy! He's our pet and only we get to play with him.
Henry: *hides behind Rock*
Rock: Actually, the two of you might be fun together....
Druitt: If you expect me to share you with that-
Rock: Silence! *snaps fingers* The only time I want to hear sound coming out of your mouth is when I make you scream, you got that?
Druitt: *nods head*
Rock: Good. Hut. Now!
Henry: *follows Rock and Druitt to hut* That was so sexy...I'm in trouble.

Zed: Heeeyyyy I wanted to try them out!
*pause*
Zed: You were being slow!!!
*pause*
Zed: *mumble*grumble* DILLIGAF?!
Sparrow: *opens mouth to speak*
Zed: DON'T!
Sparrow:[sad]
Will: O_O Terrified now...
Lorne: You get used to it... Kinda.
Will: Kavanaugh?!
Lorne: No! And don't confuse me with that prick again or I start to shoot. Got it?
Will: *nod*
Zed: *jumps Lorne* Have I told you you're really hot when you're being threatening?
Lorne: Yeah.... But I'd love to hear it again. *takes to hut*
Sparrow: *mutters* That was my new favorite word too.
Rock: *pets* It's okay sweetie. Say it for me.
Sparrow: *sniff* Don't want to.
Rock: Come on, it sounds all sexy when you say it.
Sparrow: Dilly-gaff!
Rock: *giggle* [kiss]
Will: That one's nice, she seems nice....But still scary.
Dean: That's just cause the other one's knocked up and hormonal.
Will: O_O But...the things she did....
Dean: Not here ya idjit. In the "other world".
Will: I see *doesn't see*
Bobby: Boy did you just use my word?!
O'Neill: See! Nobody likes it when you steal their catch phrases!
Bobby: Shut it ya idjit.
O'Neill: Yes Bobby.
Rock: No snarky comebacks? No quips in reply? Bobby. You're magic!
Bobby: Duh.
Rock: So's Zeddy and I were to make a chart listing the relation of men to O'Neill then Bobby would be the supreme high commander of all men, while others can be equated to O'Neill none can come close to Bobby. Our entire hierarchical system is going to have to be redone.
Bobby: Dean would you?
Dean: *kisses Rock*
Rock: Thoughts...soft...pretty eyes....*system idle: waiting for reboot*
Dean: Come on sugar, let's go to the hut.
Rock!brain: *restarts*
Rock: Hut! \o/
Zed: Who wants to play?
Fargo: [wave]
Zed: Hmmm... I reached an episode where you almost died and I realized if they'd killed you I'd have been sad... So okay... *takes to hut*
Carter: Drugs?
Stark: Oh yeah!
Carter: Should we stop her?
Sparrow: Not yet. She was mean to me.
Carter: What'd she mean she "reached an episode" and if who had killed him?
Stark: Drugs dude...
Carter: Riiight.
Mason: Are things ever less....
Carter: Weird?
Stark: Crazy?
Zane: Bat crap insane?
Mason: That one! Are things ever less bat shit insane around here?
All except the new Men: [yes]No!

Rock: You let her go to the hut with Fargo?
Carter: She seemed to know what she was doing.
Rock: You let her go to the hut with Fargo?!
Stark: She said that she would be sad if he were dead and wanted to.
Rock: You let her go to the hut with Fargo?!
Sparrow: She was mean to me.
Rock: YOU LET HER GO TO THE HUT WITH FARGO?!?!!?!?!?!!!!
Men: *cower*
Rock: If you value your vital parts you will fix this!
Zane: How?
Rock: Dilly-gaff.
Sparrow: I don't think I like that word anymore.
Zed: *is dragged back* OW!!!! Let go! Ow ow ow!!!
Zane: She bit me! I think I have rabies...
Zed: No I have babies.. Wait that's not what you said... What'd you say?
Zane: Shut up!
Zed: Make me!
Druitt: *steps up with a knife*
Zed: Please don't make me. *cowers*

Rock: Ok... Men assemble!
Men: *line up one by one*
Rock: When I call out you're name step up and take your shirt off... It's time for therapy. Alright, Zed, when they come up I want you to tell me if they're hot or not. Ok?
Zed:[yes]
Rock: Stark!
*stark removes shirt*
Zed: Hot!!
Rock: Very good! Ok.... Carter!
*Carter removes shirt*
Zed: Hot!
Rock: Very... Uhmm... Druitt! She seems to have a thing for you and your mild mannered alter-ego. You next.
*Druitt removes his shirt*
Zed: HOT!!!!!!
Rock: Settle!
Zed:[sad]
Rock: Fargo! You next everyone turn away...
*Fargo removes shirt*
Zed: Kinda hot.
Everyone: 0.0
Rock: That was disturbing.
Zed: Why?
Rock: Because you're my braintwin and if you think he's hot then I think he's hot and I'm not willing to accept that!
Fargo: It's not that inconceivable.
Men: Yes. Yes it is.
Fargo *pouts*
Rock: I only know of one cure for this level of warped perception. It requires The Ritual of the Three.
Carter: The what now of the how many?
Rock: Science and horny women did what God dared not. While he bestowed upon the world one...we made two more, and risked us all by the incredible power of so much hot existing at once. Only they can right this wrong.
Druitt: What the hell is she talking about?
Rock: Lupos.... We must send for the Lupos.

Zed: That'll kill me! And probably all of you! You can't!
Rock: It's the only way...
Zed: I was only joking![sad] I was just trying to screw with the NEWBs and hopefully you guys in the process! *sob* I don't want to be killed! Tell 'em!
Fargo: She made me stand in the closet in the hut while she did her nails on the bed.
Men: Ha-Ha![none]
Rock: We must... *covers Zed's head with a bag*
Zed: REALLY?! Cheese-tastic!
Rock: *kicks* Shut it demon!
Zed: Oh Hell to the no!

Carter: If she really was just goofing around.
Rock: Silence! It is too late. They come.
Zed: *opens mouth*
Rock: Don't!
Zed: *pout* How did you know? I've got a bag over my head.
*pause*
Zed: Oh, right.
Rock: [roll]
Zed: Don't you roll your eyes at me!
Will: Can I go home now?
Zed: *creepy voice made creepier by bag* This is your home now Will.
Rock: You belong with us.
Zed: You belong to us.
Will: *screams like little girl*
Rock&Zed: [laugh][laugh]
Zed: Whew! That was fun!
Rock: Yeah...well, time to die. *snaps fingers*
*Lupos appear*

Zed: Please?! I just proved to you that it's me!!! Come on!!
Rock: It's already begun... We must finish. Don't!
Zed: *pout* But-But What can I do to prove it? Do I have to kick Fargo in the nuts?!
Fargo: Heyy--
Zed&Rock: STFU n00b!
Lupos: *approach*
Zed: Back off!! I will cut a bitch!
Lupos: *inch closer*
Men: Maybe we should listen--
Rock: *psycho face* NO!

Rock: Anything without ovaries should leave now.
Stark: Why?
Zed: Their power, it's too great for mere mortal men.
Lupo1: We actually are mortal.
Rock: They speak! Leave. Unless you wish to be unmanned by their Hot.
Men: *scatter*
Zed: Can I take the bag off my head now?
Rock: No! First they must remove their shirts and put on the hat of sexiness, you have to receive the full effect or this won't work.
Lupo2: You want us topless but wearing a hat?
Rock: We like the hat....
Zed: *bagged head nods up and down* We really really do!
Lupos: *take off shirts*put on hats*
Lupo3: Okay we're ready.
Rock: Zeddy, are you prepared?
Zed: No.
Rock: ...Too bad. *removes bag from Zeddy's head*
Zed: They....They're beautiful!
Choir of Angels: *singing* Hallelujah! Hallelujah! Hallelujah!

Zed: I--I... They're-- *eyes swell with tears*
Lupos: *are sexy*
Rock: Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!
Zed: It-It hurts but it hurts so good... But I'm-- *lights fade from eyes* I'm dy--*drops dead*
Rock: O_O *evil psycho laugh*

Rock: *laughing evilly* Wait...why am I still alive?
Ghost!Zed: I don't know...maybe your evil is sustaining you?
Rock: But I'm not evil...I just like act that way from time to time.
Ghost!Zed: Yeah well you "acting" got me killed!
Rock: But it cured you of your Fargo!lust.
Ghost!Zed: I wasn't lusting after him! It was a joke!
Rock: Well maybe next time you'll think twice before trying to prank me.
Lupos: Should we go?
Rock: Yes, Lupos 2 and 3 go to my hut. Lupo1 stay here and do a sexy dance to bring Zed back to life.
Ghost!Zed: Why do you get two of them?!
Rock: You're very fragile right now. Too much hot could result in a death relapse. *starts to follow Lupos*
Zed: At least leave me some singles to stuff in his boxers!
Rock: He's not wearing any! Consider it my gift to you, I know how much you hate them.

Ghost!Zed: *floats over to where the men are sitting* Lupo no worky.[sad]
Will: O_O *girly scream*
Ghost!Zed: Wussy!
Will: *screams again*
Ghost!Zed: If you don't stop that I will haunt your ass for the rest of your life...
Druitt: *waves hand trough Zed's head*
Ghost!Zed: Oh wow you have your fist in me... Aren't you special? That didn't come out right...
Halling: An ascended one! *bows*
Ghost!Zed:[misc2] Someone get him up.
Halling: *stands* *faces Druitt*
Druitt: Huh...
Both: *stare*
Ghost!Zed: Wow... You're uh... WOW!
O'Neill: *idea* You two! Hug!
Everyone: O_o
O'Neill: Just do it!
Halling/Druitt: *shrug* *hug*
Ghost!Zed: Oh my... *vanishes*
Will: *girly scream*
Alive!Zed: I said stoppit!
Will: *girly scream*
Zed: Why did we bring him here again?
*pause*
Zed: Ah... Yes...
Druitt: Umm... Something you want to tell us...?
Zed: Not that I can think of...
Rock: *storms out of hut* You think he's-- they're hotter!!!
Zed: *innocent face*
Rock: Blasphemer!!!

...

Rock: *sitting with back to Zed*
O'Neill: Why don't you just talk to her?
Rock: No.
Carter: I'm sure there's a logical explanation.
Rock: No.
Sheppard: Maybe if you used your words to let Zed know why you're so upset...
Rock: No.
Dean: You guys wanna try the other one?
Men: *nod heads*
Stark: Could you apologize?
Zed: No.
Halling: She's very upset.
Zed: No.
Henry: You wanna go to the hut?
Zed: No. Wait....
Dean: *headslaps Henry*
Henry: What?!
Dean: Remember the mission!
Henry: Right, sorry....
Xander: Look maybe they just need some time appart. What's the worst that could happen?
*clouds begin to darken the sky* *thunder shakes the land*
Bobby: Storm's a comin', you men, those chicks, are smack in the middle of it.
Xander: Sometimes I shouldn't say words.

Stark: If you would just--
Zed: No.
Stark: That wasn't a question...
Zed: No.
Stark: At least we're in agreement there.
Zed: No.
Stark: Would you st--
Zed: NO!
Halling: Don't encourage her...
Zed:[tongue]
Bobby: Alright dammit! If you idjits don't agree to get along I am gonna-- *lightning strikes beside him* Who the f_ck did that?!
Rock&Zed: *look innocent*
O'Neill: They really are pissed.
Dean: You do realize you just about killed Bobby-- The Bobby?

Rock: Oh Please! Bobby was never in any danger.
Zed: Don't you trust us?
Men: *whistle innocently and avoid eye contact*
Rock: Zeddy, I think they're saying they don't trust us.
Zed: I think you're right Rocky.
Both: *narrow eyes*
Bobby: Congrats ya idjits! You managed to make them set aside their differences.
Dean: Yeah...but now they're gonna hurt us.
Bobby: You saying that kinky stuff's not something you're interested in?
Dean: ...Did you just...Bobby...said kinky.... I need to go throw up.

Zed: Dean! You're upset by him saying "kinky"? Trust me he knows kinky... *wink*
Dean: *dry heave*
Rock: Really kinky... Really familiar with bondage.
Dean: *throws up*
Zed: This is fun!!
Rock:[yes]
Sheppard: So you two friends again?
Zed/Rock: No! Hmph! *turn backs to each other*

O'Neill: Ladies, ladies please. Why can't we all just get along?
Rock: Because she doesn't think Lupo's hot!
Zed: Because she doesn't think Halling/Druitt's hot!
Rock/Zed: Yes I do! You do?! No you don't! Would I lie? Yes! Okay fair enough....

Will: *banging head against a tree* Want. Off. This. Island!
O'Neill: Save your breath buddy... You ain't goin' anywhere unless they want you to.
Henry: Ladies, ladies... You like different things, that's okay!
Rock/Zed: Is not!
Sheppard: But you're different in other ways too...
Zed/Rock: Huh?
Shep: Sports! Zed, you despise them. Rock, you love them. You didn't get like this over that.
Rock: Those things don't count.
Zed: It's our opinion of hot that matters.

Harckness: Rock do you think Halling and Druitt are hot?
Rock: Exceedingly.
Carter: Zed do you think the Lupo's are hot?
Zed: Yes indeedy.
O'Neill: Then what's the problem?
Rock/Zed: You don't understand anything!
O'Neill: I'm very much aware of that.
Will: *still banging head against tree* Why. Wont. The. Nightmare. End?!
Sparrow: Dilly-gaff mate. Dilly-gaff.
Will: *leaps on Sparrow with insane scream* Stop saying that! It's meaningless! Nothing makes sense anymore! NOTHING! *curls up in ball and weeps*
Zed/Rock: Huh....

Zed: That was funny! Do it again!
Will: *screams at Zed*
Zed: I think I'm deaf!! *snaps fingers* That's better!
Mason: Alright I got it! You two can work out your agression in a pit of mud. Or Jell-o, I'm not picky...
Zed/Rock: *deadpan* Funny.

Will: *rocking back and forth sucking thumb*
Rock: Awww, he's reached the next stage of his transition.
Zed: They're so peaceful once they realize that no matter how loudly they scream help wont come.
Dean: I love being here...but sometimes the two of you scare the hell outta me.
Castiel: I thought that was my job, Dean! *runs off crying*
Dean: Dammit! He's been hanging with Uriel again, always makes him PMS like a bitch.
Zed/Rock: O_O

Zed: I don't even wanna know...
Rock: I do!
Everyone:[mjeyds]
Zed: Weeeird...
Rock: *tackles Zed* Take it back!
Zed: Come on! You know you're weird! GTFO bitch!

*Coolies Jumps PMS!Castiel*

Rock: See! She likes PMS!Castiel!
Zed: She likes any kind of Castiel!
Mason: Now this is what I'm talking about, two women fighting...hold that position girls I'm off to get some jello!
Rock: *stops fighting* Oh my God.... What have we become?
Zed: I know...we're fighting for the pleasure of the men instead of the joy of it.
Rock: I...I don't know where it all went wrong.
Zed: Probably with you not thinking Halling and Druitt were good enough to bring me back to life.
Rock: Oh that is it, bring it bitch!
Both: *start fighting again*
Mason: Did I miss anything?
Dean: They almost had a truce...but that didn't work so well.
Mason: I love this Island!
Will: *still rocking back and forth* We're all going to die here.

Zed: *pins Rock to the ground* Now... Say it!
Rock: No!
Zed: Say it...
Rock: No!
Zed: *hits Rock's head against the ground* Say it!!
Mason: Tell her she's your sugar mama.
Zed/Rock: *stare* *share a look* *snaps fingers*
Mason: *a zipper appears on his lips and zips shut*
Zed: That's better! Where was I?
Carter: You were trying to make her say something.
Zed: Right! Say it! *punches*
Rock: Say what?!
Zed: You know what!!!

Rock: *flips Zeddy* I'm not saying whatever it is you want me to say!
Zed: *flips back* Yes you will!
Rock: *flips again* No I wont!
Dean: This is getting us nowhere and I'm horny.
Rock/Zed: *perk up* Really?! *stare at each other* But...fight to death. *stare at men* Hot...*torn*

Zed: *flips again* Just say they're totally worth me coming back for and I'll let you go!
Rock: *flips* Say the Lupos are the only ones worth coming back for and I'll let you go.
Zed: *flips* I don't think so!
Rock: *flips* Well I so think so.
Druitt: Stop this madness! I'm supposed to be the crazy one here!
Zed: *flips* *snaps fingers and an anvil falls on Druitt* You're new here so I let you off easy. Plus, I'll make it up to you as soon as she says it. *shoves Rock*

Mason: Mmm hmmm mhmm mmhs m mmhh mmm mhhm
Everyone: [confused]
Mason: *unzips lips* I said "I love chick fights and even I'm bored".
Zed/Rock: Ohhhh...*snap fingers*
Mason: *has piano fall on head*
Zed/Rock: *back to fighting*
Will: Stop it! Stop fighting! Can't you see you're tearing this family apart! *sobs*

Zed: Didn't you want to go home a few minutes ago? You have no say in this.
Rock: Yeah! Shut it!
Zed: You shut it unless you're gonna say it.
Rock: Make me.
Zed: *eyebrow raise* Gladly.

Druitt: Why can't they just admit that they find both me, my caveman-like twin and the police detective attractive?
Spike: Well Dru, it's like this. They're women.
Druitt: And?
Spike: I can't talk to this guy, he's clueless...hey!
Dean: What?
Spike: Where're my blood and smokes? They always snap in blood and smokes for me. This place is going to rot with them goofing off!
Rock: You call this goofing off?!
Zed: We're fighting for...freedom and...justice!
Rock: We're fighting because you don't love Lupo anymore!
Zed: No we're fighting because you don't think Halling and Druitt are good enough to come back from the dead for!
Rock: Of course they're good enough to come back from the dead for but you snubbed Lupo!

Zed: I did not snub. I just found someone I love more.

Rock: How is that not snubbing?

Zed: I still love him! I'm not totally abandoning my love of him... I'm just embracing a new love... Well, it's not new but it's stronger now. Mainly because he's really hot and kick ass and Alastair...

Rock: Are you done yet?

Zed: I think so...

Rock: But what about Wednesday nights? It's Lupo!night, we sit around for an hour and drool over him.
Zed: I know we do.
Rock: If you don't love him anymore then what will happen to Lupo!night?
Zed: I still love him...I just love someone else a little more right now.
Rock: *sniff* Can we still have Lupo!night?

Zed: Of course we'll still have Lupo!Night!!
Rock: *sniffle* Good!
Zed: We cool now? Bestest buds again?

Rock: *huggle*clings* Yeppers! Bestest of best buds!
Zed: *huggle!clings back* Good. Now can we play with the men?
Rock: Yeah. We should probably do something with Will, he's gone through the process and wants to stay now but...I think we might have left him alone to much.
Zed: What do you mean?
Rock: Will, he keeps crying and screaming randomly then he'll be fine for a bit before he loses it again.
Will: Oh what a beautiful morning! Oh what a beautiful day!
Carter: Hi Will.
Will: *screams* Stay away from me! *sobs* I love kittens! *curls up in ball*
Carter: Okay then.
Zed: O_o
Rock: o_O
Zed: Yeah, we're gonna have to do something about that.

Rock: Soon.
Zed: Wait a minute... *snaps fingers*
Will: *starightens up* What's goin' on?
Zed: I fixed you!
Will: ...Huh?
Rock: I think it's best you don't know.
Zed: Probably...
Both: *walk away*
*Will is left with a totally confused look on his face*
Zed: Guess what!
Men: *cower*
Rock: No need! We're friends again!!!
*Zed and Rock hug*
Druitt: *is bleeding from his run in with the anvil*
Zed: Sorry 'bout that... *snaps*
Druitt!Injury: *heals*
Zed: *big smile* Now let me make it up to you! *jumps* *is carried to hut*

Dean: So what was the trouble between you two anyway?
Rock: You know.... I don't even remember anymore.
O'Neill: You put us through all that hell and you don't even remember?!
Rock: Yeah. You wanna make something of it?
O'Neill: Nope.
Rock: Thought not. Now, after all that fighting about hot-
O'Neill: You said you didn't remember.
Rock: Is it really wise to interrupt me?
O'Neill: ...I'll be quiet.
Rock: *stern glare* Good. Now as I was saying, after all that fighting about hot *pointed glare at O'Neill* I'm feeling a bit frisky. Dean, Alec! Hut time!
Alec: Where was I when the chick flick was going on?
Dean: Plucking your girly eyebrows?
Alec: You do realize we look exactly alike right?
Dean: Please! I am so much prettier then you.
Rock: Boys boys please. Let's settle this with the time honored tradition of the Game. Last one to the hut forfeits one scream point.[biggrin]
All: *rush to hut*

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