Island Adventure: A New Hope

Rock - Posted 9:15

*pop*pop*
Rock: We're baaaaa-*hacking cough*
Zeddy: The hell?! This place is covered in dust and cobwebs!
Rock: I think I just saw Shelob O_o
Zeddy: Where are the Men? They were supposed to keep this place tidy, they are SO going to bed without supper.
Rock: I think our first mistake was expecting men to clean.
Zeddy: We give them sex, the least they could do is pick up a frickin' dust rag.
Rock: Maybe they were decorating for Halloween and just forgot to- AHH! BAT!
Zeddy: *snaps fingers* *begins waving baseball bat around menacingly*
Rock: No, actual flying mammal bat!
Zeddy: I know, why do you think I'm armed? Come on ya furry bastard, Auntie Zeddy's got a present for you!
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Zeddy - Posted 9:23

Bat: SQUEAK SQUEAK! SQUEAKERY!
Rock: Holy shit! ZEDDY STOP!
Zed: What? Why? It's a friggen bat!!!
Rock: IT'S MELVIN!
Zed: *throws bat down* OMG MELVIN! I'm so sorry!
Melvin: *squeak squeak* SQUEAK!
Zed: No I wouldn't have. And even if I had I could have brought you back.
Melvin: *angry squeak*
Zed: I'z sorry.
Rock: Melvin, if you don't mind, where are the men and why's this place so wrecked?
Melvin: Squeak squeak squeakery squee.
Rock: Dictator? I don't think--
Zed: Goddamn it Tesla!
Rock/Zed: *both sigh*
Zed: *snaps fingers*
Tesla: *appears* Well... Shit.
-----
Rock - posted 9:37

Tesla: I'm going to wring that rodent's neck for ratting me out.
Melvin: Squeak squeakity! *hides behind Zed*
Rock: Tessy! *goes to jump*
Zed: Whoa girl! *grabs back of Rock's shirt* Did you forget why we snapped him in?
Rock: For sex?
Zed: Ye- No! Because he created a dictatorship and ruined the Island.
Tesla: "Ruined" is a bit strong don't you think?
Rock: Shut it man-meat. Everything's coming back to me now...sorry, it's just been so long and he's so hot and...*begins to drool*
Zed: *bitchslaps Rock with CBOS* (Cinder Block of Shame)
Rock: Thanks, I needed that.
Tesla: I know what else you need *suggestive leer*
Rock: *shuts eyes* I can't see you, you don't tempt me!
Tesla: I can seduce you with my voice, admit it, you're drawn to me like a magnet.
Rock: Bad jokes and crappy pickup lines make me cranky *slaps him with CBOS* Now, where are the other men and what the fuck happened on OUR ISLAND?!
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Zed - Posted 9:45

Zed: You abandoned it...
Rock: I did no--
Zed: FOCUS!
Rock: Uh... Right. *points at Tesla* You fucked it up.
Tesla: Did I? I think I quite improved over the former hierarchy.
Zed: But... Tessy... Mm... Tesla. *gets closed to him* You know the problems with being in charge...
Tesla: I do?
Rock: *catching on* Yeah... You know us. Being in control... The power. *bites lip*
Zed: *moans* The power is... *wistful sigh*
Rock: But with you in charge...
Zed/Rock: *dissatisfied sigh*
Tesla: *gulp* But... I...Uh... You... Um...
Zed: You wouldn't want to disappoint us would you?
Rock: You want us don't you?
Tesla: I-I-I... Uh-huh.
Zed: There's one solution.
Rock: It's simple, really.
Zed: Un-fuck this place and... You'll get fucked. *innocent smile*
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Rock - posted 9:53

*Rock&Zed look on in amazement*
Rock: I must admit, I'm impressed by his work ethic.
Zed: It was sweet of him to release all the men from the prison compound he forced them to build so they could help.
Tesla: *sitting back drinking lemonade* Sometimes I even astound myself with my own beneficence.
Rock: It's true, you are a god amongst men.
Tesla: *sighs* I used to be.
Zed: Awww, are you feeling inadequate?
Tesla: Maybe a little.
Zed: *pets sympathetically* ...Good. Now get off your ass and help Will scrub the jello pit.
Tesla: But it's so sticky in there *whine*
Rock: Just imagine how much fun you'll have when we clean you off *eyebrow wiggle*
Tesla: Will! To the jello pit! Move! *runs off to clean*
Zed: *giggles evilly*
Rock: Are we actually going to have sex with him as a reward for doing all this?
Zed: ...Eventually.
Both: Mwahahahahahahahaha!
-----
Zeddy - Posted 10:05

Zed: While we're getting thing's all fixed up again, might as well meet your new neighbors!
Rock: Starting with: *reading from list* Robber, Grave.
*pop*
Graverobber: Um that's act--
Rock: Who will henceforth be known as Gravy.
Zed: Wait, what? really?
Rock: Yes, really. Next is... Pavi Largo.
*pop*
Pavi: Oh yes!
Zed: *snaps*
*pop*
*Pavi's stolen face is gone*
Pavi: Oh no! ):
Zed: Much better!
Rock: Up next: Verbal Kint and Fred Fenster.
*pop*pop*
Zed: Fred? Is that really your first name?
Fenster: Habasdiuscjknsdflkjtoiu,
Zed: Uh-huh. O_O
Rock: Next: Romeo, the third Saint.
*pop*
Romeo: DING DONG MOTHERFUCKERS! DING DOOONG!
Rock: *blink*blink* Followed by Ed Dalton.
*pop*
Zed: My turn! Next up Daryl Dixon and Rick Grimes!
*pop*pop*
Zed: OK, I think that's it... NOW! WHO wants to help me break in the new mattress in the hut?
Tesla: *raises hand gleefully* Meeee!!!
Rock: NO! You clean.
Zed/Tessy: *epic sad*
Zed: Fine. Fenster!
Fenster:sdlkfjcsortudflvjn
Zed: *jumps in his arms* Let's go over there and *mumbles the rest of it*
Fenster: *enthusiastically* Warite!
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Rock- posted 10:16

Rock: Um...the hell is wrong with *consults list* Fenster?
Verbal: *shrugs* That's just Fenster.
Rock: Okay then....
Daryl: What the fuck is going on?! Is that crazy dude a zombie?!
Rick: What are zombies? I thought he was a Walker.
Rock: *slaps Rick* They're Zombies Rick, just admit it and embrace the Z word.
Romeo: *pokes Daryl's cheek* Dude. Do I know you? And why are you carrying a crossbow? And have a string of squirrel bodies draped around your neck?
Daryl: *is about to throw down*
Rock: Boys, boys, boys! There will be no fighting! ...Okay there will be no fighting unless it's over who gets hut!time.
Daryl: Hut time?
Rick: Seriously, what are zombies?
Rock: *facepalm* I'm going to go show Daryl what hut!time is. Rick, this is a zombie *snaps in zombie*
Rick: *screams* Walker!
Rock: .... .... .... I'll be back when I've worked off some of this frustration.
Daryl: *attempting to beat zombie to death with squirrel!chain*
Rock: Daryl! Heel!
Daryl: Must. Kill!
Rock: Fuckberries.
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Zed - Posted 10:25

Zed: *strolling back*
Fenster: ,vcnsldfjaskjfseitulgjnxc,vmns,vmchnskfhsletiugn
Zed: Fuck'd he say?
Radek: He said that was awesome and he thinks your his favorite.
*everyone looks at Zelenka*
Zed: How?
Fenster: ckxcvkjchvkjhstoi?
Zed: You're lucky you're pretty.
Fenster: I'll flip ya!
Zed: o-O Aaaaanyway... *walks away* Hmmm... Let's see... Who goes next...
Tesla: *jumping up and down* Meeeeee.
Zed: Rocky says no.
Tesla: Aww. ):
Zed: Now... Pavi! *jumps* Hut. Now. You too Gravy!
All three: *go to hut*
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Rock- posted 10:40

Rock: Daryl, why don't you just shoot the zombie with your crossbow? Why the hell do you think we let you keep it when you were zapped in?
Daryl: Why don't you just zap it back out?
Rick: *battling zombie while still insisting he doesn't know what zombies are*
Rock: *giggles* Because I have a twisted sense of humor.
Daryl: Fair enough, squirrel? *offers*
Rock: And they say romance is dead...much like those squirrels...and the ZOMBIE!
Rick: *manly scream* *embeds ax in zombie's skull*
Rock: That was...wow *fans self* *wanders over to Rick*
Daryl: Hey! We were talking here.
Rock: *petting Rick's muscles* Pretty....
Rick: Um, I'm married.
Rock: *snaps fingers*
Rick: Wow...my wife's a bitch. I think I need to have ridiculous amounts of revenge!sex.
Rock: Daryl, you come too.
Rick/Daryl: Wait, what?!
Rock: My Island *pause* Sorry boo, OUR Island, our rules *grins*
Daryl: Lady has a point.
Rick: It would really piss off my wife.
Rick/Daryl: We're in!
Rock: It's so cute that you two thought you had any say in this *pinches their cheeks*
Rick/Daryl: *get goosed*
All: *to the hut*
 -----
 Zed - Posted: 10:56

Zed: That would have been much more fun if a certain someone wasn't trying to drug me and another certain someone wasn't trying to steal my face...
Gravy/Pavi: *guilty faces*
Fen: Nawyugongostealladyface?
Zed: Hey! I understood that!
Fen: Justtakesomge'inuseto.
Zed: THAT TOO! Breakthrough!
Verbal: Is it really that impressive? I mean Stephen Baldwin can do it for Christ's sake...
Zed: That's a good point... But... DILLIGAF?
Sparrow: *jumps out from behind a rock* AYE! *takes a swig of rum*
Zed: ... How long were you back there?
Sparrow: *hold up 10 gallon bottle of rum, nearly empty* This was full when I hid...
Zed: So about 5 minutes?
Sparrow: That's about it.
Fen: Whothepisshellfucktryntatakedalady?
Zed: Don't worry about him taking me. He has perpetual whiskey dick.
Sparrow: Dilly-gaff? *stomps off*
Zed: I missed him... ANYWAY! Who's up? VERBAL!
Verbal: O_O
Zed: My kinky side wants you for two reasons... One of which I can't mention.
Verbal: ...
Zed: Just... Hut. Now.
Both: *leave*
Fen: Hellnawthatsumbitch!
-----
Rock- posted 11:12

Rock: *punches Fen*
Fen: Wthellthtfr?
Rock: You make my brain hurt *pouts*
Sparrow: When did you get back from the hut?
Rock: Just now...I'm very sneaky.
Daryl: It's true.
Rick: She stalked us and then leapt upon us like a ravenous beast.
Daryl: It was hella sexy.
Rick: *nods*
Sparrow: You boys look like you could use a drink.
Rick: Thanks *reaches for bottle*
Sparrow: Oi! I said you looked like you could use a drink, not that you could have mine!
Rock: I love it when you get possessive about your alcohol. *yoinks bottle and finishes off*
Sparrow: *opens mouth to yell* *remembers who he's talking to* Can I get you a refill, love?
Rock: Not right now, I'm in the mood for something else. *jumps Will* Have you properly adjusted to life on the Island yet?
Will: I most certainly have :D
Rock: Oh...*jumps off* You're much less interesting now.
Will: *looks like kicked puppy*
Rock: Lupo! I've missed you on L&O *leaps into his arms* Take me to the hut and ravish me.
Lupo: Can do!
Will: *calling after them* I have mommy issues! That's interesting!
Rock: No it isn't :P
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Zed - Posted 11:21

Zed: OI! You hurt my pretty!
*pause*
Zed: It is fun to play nurse but it doesn't mean you get to beat my men willy-nilly!
*pause*
Zed: Don't you goddamn DILLIGAF me! I will drag your happy ass out here!
*pause*
Zed: You're lucky I don't want to see that!
Fen: Bitchgunpunchme'inidentdonuthin.
Zed: I know she's so mean, right? I'll make it up to you now. For the next few hours at least. ;) *jumps Fen*
Fen: *carries Zed off excitedly*
Tesla: OH COME ON?! HE GETS TO GO TWICE AND I HAD TO CLEAN THE JELLO PIT THE WHOLE TIME?!?!?! FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUU---
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Rock- posted 11:33

Rock: *pats Tesla's head condescendingly* There, there.
Tesla: You mean you'll take me to the hut?
Rock: ...No. Consider this your punishment for trying to take over the Island.
Tesla: I don't "try", I actually did take over the Island!
Rock: Yeah, that'll help your case. *walks away*
Tesla: *hangs head* Why did I open my big mouth?
Will: Because for a brilliant guy you're kinda stupid?
Tesla: I can kill you with my brain.
Rock: *giggles*
Tesla: I amused you, does that mean-
Rock: Still no. Druitt! Hut. Now!
Druitt: Gladly, darling. *teleports Rock to hut*
Tesla: Seriously?! That's just adding insult to injury. *sigh* At least she didn't take Wil-
Druitt: *appears* Excuse me gentlemen *grabs Will* Your presence is...requested. Demanded. *both vanish*
Tesla: I hate my life...